Dr. Brown's Decision Maker Exercise

You and I are infinite choice makers.

Each day we make countless choices — what to eat, what to say, what to think, what to believe, what to doubt, and on and on.

With these quiet decisions we create not only our today, but also our future. Deliberate creation occurs when we know what we want, focus our attention in that direction and make aware, deliberate choices that support our goals.

I know that the idea of deliberate creation may seem overwhelming at times, so to help you get started, here’s my simple, yet empowering Infinite Decision Maker Exercise.

Step 1: Identify a heart-felt desire / goal that you’re having trouble fulfilling.

This can be as simple as the desire to spend one day eating all three meals in a calm and relaxed fashion, chewing the food thoroughly and enjoying the taste of each mouthful. Or it might be a goal that you’ve found a bit difficult to fulfill. In my case, this might be my failed desire not to be harsh with my son when I come home tired from work and find him watching TV, rather than cleaning his unbelievably messy room.

Step 2: Write down the reasons why you want to fulfill this desire or goal.

Gaining deeper insights into WHY you wish to fulfill this desire will add power to the process. Actually writing down your reasons will give you a laser-like focus. Also begin planning when the next opportunity will arise to be a proactive choice maker. This might be the next meal, if you want to be more deliberate with eating. Or you might have to wait until the next time you find yourself spontaneously (and in my case, strongly reacting) to your son’s TV viewing. Be prepared. It’s often difficult to be mindful when you’re in the throes of a serious gut reaction.

Step 3: Stop and make the deliberate choice in alignment with your goals.

Here, the operative word is “stop.” Most of the choices we make are done automatically, without much awareness. Rarely do we catch ourselves or note, “I am making a decision here.” So now, stop and take three deep breaths, recognizing that you are indeed about to make a choice. In creating this mental “space” you will automatically recall why this choice is important.

These three simple steps will bring awareness to your choices and help you to see their fulfillment. I hope you will let me know how this exercise works for you.